“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“I’m a little nervous,” says Clayton.
Clayton is a handsome young man and one of our guests tonight. I feel his nervousness when we shake hands. He is here for Kindway Embark’s monthly navigators gathering. This is Clayton’s first time stepping foot into a prison.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about,” I say, hoping to set him at ease. “You’re in for a treat tonight!”
In truth, in this moment, I feel a tinge of sadness and shame. Sad because another human being harbors fears about who I am being an incarcerated person; and, shame for having subjected another person to the consequences of my past actions.
The public harbors stereotypes about incarcerated people, stereotypes perpetrated by Hollywood movies and popular crime shows. Reality couldn’t be further from the truth. We are people who made very poor decisions in our pasts. We are brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers. We laugh and cry, hope and believe like anyone else.
We are, to put it simply, just people.
“Movies like Shawshank Redemption and popular crime shows perpetuate stereotypes about who we are,” I say, to Clayton and the other men sitting at my table – Ron, Joseph, and Miguel.
Joseph and Miguel nod knowingly.
I am engaged with numerous Columbus, Ohio based organizations dedicated to helping incarcerated people and restored citizens. These organizations exist on donations, some federal grant funding, and prayer — a lot of prayer. Kindway Embark is one of these organizations.
Tonight’s gathering is sponsored by Kindway Embark. It is part of a year long hands on mentorship aiming to grow strong Christian brothers and sisters through intense pre-release preparation. The focus is on faith based reentry success.
Tonight we are celebrating our faith. For a couple of hours we discover one another through social interaction centered around conversation, food, group games, testimony and prayer.
“Okay! Game time!” says the emcee. “We are going to play the game of ‘Would You Rather,'”–everyone erupts in laughter–” except this is the Christian version! “
“First question: Would you rather witness the Red Sea parting or Jesus walking on water?”
Immediately the room fills with animated chatter as dozens of outside guests and Kindway Embark participants discuss answers.
“I’d want to see Jesus as he walks on water,” says Clayton.
“Yeah, me too,” says Miguel.
“Yeah, I agree,” says Ron.
I find myself in the minority and second guessing my choice.
“I’d want to witness the parting of the Red Sea,” I say.
“You wouldn’t want to see Jesus walking on water?” says Miguel.
“Uh, well — yeah I would, but I think I’d like to witness the Red Sea parting that would be astounding.” I suddenly feel sheepish.
After a couple of other ‘Would You Rather’ questions my table erupts into a game of its own.
I say: “Okay, how about this; if you could go back in time and meet any one human — and not Jesus, that’s a given — who would it be?”
Someone mentions wanting to meet Abraham. Someone else mentions wanting to meet one of the biblical kings.
“I would go back in time to meet Eve,” I say. The whole table is suddenly intently focused upon my words. “I would go back to meet Eve in the moment where she reaches for the apple on the tree. I would stop her.”
“Oh, right,” says Clayton, “that’s noble!”
The others utter similar thoughts.
“She has no idea the pain and suffering she unleashed upon the world.”
There’s a brief moment of heavy gravity at the table. I break the moment by changing subjects. I talk about my 31 year journey incarcerated and how in many ways it has revealed blessings in disguise. Miguel and Joseph eagerly add in their incarceration experience.
The night wraps up with a group prayer. We form a large circle and hold hands as one individual leads the prayer.
With my head bowed and my eyes closed I think of all the Kindway Embark volunteers some of whom are restored citizens themselves. I think of tonight’s guests and I thank God for each of them: Robin, Heidi, Pat, Clayton, Tim, Preston, “Wally”, Juan, Ryan, Jeremy, Dennis, Marcus, Drennan, Mike, Emil, Randy, Ron #2, and Vance.
I have a moment of panic as I try to remember if I’m missing anyone, but I leave it to God.
Reflecting back upon the evening I feel immense gratitude. I can see the future one where I am free in a new life with my Kindway Embark brothers and sisters. Tonight I caught a glimpse of the very people that I know will be a part of it and I am grateful.
Amen.
*Christopher Monihan is a writer, author, journalist and Stillwater Award recipient. He is incarcerated in Ohio.
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Month: May 2026
Nerdgasm By Christopher Monihan
I am a nerd at heart. Science came easy to me growing up and I embraced technology. I am most comfortable surrounded by all things technological.
One of my favorite characters on Star Trek the Next Generation is “Data”. A humanoid android perfect in his ability to solve the complex but flawed in his humanity. The Artificial Intelligence (AI) that made him was brilliant, yet flawed.
I marvel at how AI is sweeping the world. For all of the anxiety AI conjures in the public psyche its promise outweighs everything. We have taken a step closer to becoming the gods ourselves.
From my caged perch in prison I observe with yearning eyes the world’s astounding technologies that were all but science fiction the last time I was in the free world. For me AI’s coming of age is the ultimate nerdgasm.
I recently experienced AI in a way that left me nearly speechless. I am a choir singer in the Harmony Project, a nonprofit out of Columbus, Ohio that comes into my prison once a week. We learn popular contemporary songs and for an hour sing together in community and shared humanity. Harmony’s message to the incarcerated is “Where you are does not define who you are”. For the past three years Harmony has brought joy to my life.
Two of the songs we are learning are all originals. When the 75 men of Harmony at my facility first heard each song, we thought they were songs from a popular artist. So when David Brown, who leads Harmony, revealed that the songs were created by Harmony using an AI application my jaw fell open. The music is indistinguishable from a top 40 hit. But none of it is real.
As I have learned both songs over the past several weeks, dozens of AI themed writing ideas sparked in my mind.
Knowing that I can literally create whatever my mind comes up with — because rest assured, AI is filling that role — fills me with an excitement unlike any I’ve ever had. The fact that I can unleash AI to compute and sort through reams of data and create accordingly per my parameters, opens doors that would otherwise have remained closed to me once I am home again. AI can become a formerly incarcerated person’s great ally and I know exactly how I would use it to help myself. I also know how I would apply it as a resource for the one million returning citizens releasing from our jails and prisons every year, both through nonprofit and for profit efforts.
I have closely followed the public release of AI and have watched as it sparks excitement and fear in people. Fear of the unknown and what people don’t understand, and excitement for AI’s promise to lift humanity.
I am old enough to remember the public’s dismay and fear over the first implanted artificial heart into a human patient. People screamed, We’re playing God! Today artificial hearts are common place. Where have all the naysayers gone?
I remember the public uproar and fear when scientists cloned ‘Dolly’ the sheep. It would only be a matter of time before people are cloned! Screamed the doomsayers. Nowadays we clone everything from plants to our own house pets. No one seems too worried about cloning anymore.
Today the naysayers are running around with their arms flailing over AI. I suspect 10 years from now we will look back upon this moment in time and shake our heads. Fast forward 50 years and I cannot begin to fathom how far society will have advanced due to AI. The scientific puzzles we’ll have solved; the drugs we’ll have created that will save millions of people, and the societal advancement that will ensue. AI is the breakthrough equivalent of the transistor or dare I say, electricity.
Focusing on the here and now AI is a blessing to the men and women who have spent decades living in cages and are now regurgitated back into a society alien from the one they remember. I can frame whatever questions I have into popular AI models and literally catch up. I can fill the knowledge void that all returning citizens have, and I can do it without shame or embarrassment. For us, everything in society is new and nothing is of old.
I have spent decades thinking about society and the broader world. I’ve spent so much time thinking and pondering that I have discovered, learned, and become –that which I have, and that which I am — brand new with eyes wide open to truths I would never have found. To say I am aware is an understatement.
Some people will refuse to accept AI no matter what. Some will fear AI for fear’s sake. Those that do will be left behind. I, on the other hand, will embrace AI at every turn.
In prison where one’s existence is measured by the passing of meal times, count times, and pages torn from calendars the promise of AI in a new life is the equivalent of leaving purgatory and stepping one foot into Heaven.
*Christopher Monihan is a writer, author, journalist and Stillwater Award recipient. He is incarcerated in Ohio.
Thank you! for following. Click on subscribe and you will be notified the moment I publish a new post. Also, my newest book, ‘Christopher And Friends: Reflections From Behind The Wall’ (ISBN: 979-8262373062) is now available on Amazon.