To My Incarcerated Child

By Anonymous Mom

This is how incarceration affects your family.

Losing a child to incarceration feels like we are serving time on the inside. Life as we know it has forever changed from one WRONG decision and you can’t take it back.

It’s a grieving process which includes denial, anger, sadness, and at some point we just have to accept it. To add to this, we are humiliated, isolated, and abandoned by choice, your choice. Then there is guilt which gives us a poor self concept.

All of these stages of the grieving process can overlap and cause a state of anxiety and depression.

Denial

How can you do this? How does your family feel?

You’ve robbed your family from having you in their life and you’ve robbed yourself from your family and friends.

Sadness

I am sad for all those that don’t see themselves or their families as better than this.

We don’t get to see you go through high school, go watch you play your favorite sport, teach you to drive a car, or get your DL.

Years of a life have been wiped away. Your family is more important than that.

Isolation

We have lost friends over this; either they don’t know what to say or they just associate me as a prison mom.

Humiliation

We suffer humiliation from public stigmatism and media bashing. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve read or heard Where’s the parents? Charge them too! What?? People, we were sleeping just like you!

Guilt

As a mom I wonder what did I not do right? I must have failed as a parent. If only I had not gone to bed that night.

How this affects YOU

In prison, you no longer get to be a teen.

There’s no DL, dating, school dances, prom, graduation, school football games, things you should enjoy as a teen.

Life on the outs goes on and life freezes on the in.

Time flies but stands still at the same time.

“The Possibilities”

I remember when you were a baby and I held you in my arms and dreamed of all the possibilities. This is not how I’d ever dreamed it would be, but it is what it is.

I cry more than you know. I sleep less than you think and I pray as much as I can. I’m still dreaming of all the possibilities.

Don’t ever give up. I haven’t I’ve loved you before you were born.

Love,

Mom

 

We love you, too Anonymous Mom. And we won’t give up.

Christopher

 

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